Let’s talk that body image once again.
This time though, I want to speak on pregnancy and body image.
Becoming pregnant and even before…I thought my issues I have faced with my body would fade. Because being pregnant makes you all glowing and stuff right? I thought I would become pregnant and have this perfectly round growing belly.
Let’s just say I had some pretty unrealistic expectations. In my mind anyways. I thought being pregnant would erase my body image issues for the 9 months.
I was wrong. Don’t get me wrong. I adore my growing bump. I love it. I feel great. I am able to workout and I have had close to no complications whatsoever. I have however struggled with that scale. Cue the eye rolls. I know it sounds ridiculous to be concerned with gaining weight when afterall you are growing a tiny human being.
But this is real. It is. I felt extremely guilty when I first started feeling bad about my weight gain. I felt horrible that I could feel bad when this weight gain is weight gain with a purpose. But I did. I dreaded going to the doctor and stepping on the scale. The beginning wasn’t bad. It took me months and months before I started to pack on weight. I had only gained about 8lbs within the first 20 weeks or so. Which was super awesome.
When I hit the third trimester it just kept on coming. Now, I obviously haven’t gained a ton of weight. My midwife said it is pretty much all baby and water weight and really nothing else on me. Which again, I am proud of because I have been working really hard to stay in shape and healthy through this pregnancy. However, it is still hard to watch weight pack on in such a short period of time.
It can really mess with you if you struggle with these sort of issues. And it has bothered me off and on. One day I wake up and I think of how great I look and feel. Other days I tend to cry a little because I feel my hard work is for nothing because I see something that isn’t there.
I have overcome my body issues a ton. I have never starved myself. In fact, I do quite the opposite. When I start to feel big or ugly I turn to food and binge eat. Then I sit and feel guilty about it for hours. Thankfully, I haven’t really done this through my pregnancy. And it has been a while since I have done that and felt that way. But I have overcome it a lot.
A lot of that stems from a past relationship I went through. All my confidence was stripped away from me. It took me years to build it back. To find who I was again. I grip my confidence and the feeling of “me” so tightly that I really don’t think anyone could ever take it away from me again.
All in all…it is okay to still struggle while pregnant. It is rough.Even if you didn’t have prior body issues it can still be extremely hard to watch the weight go on and the shape of your body change. I know with this pregnancy, losing my waistline was almost devastating to me. It makes me laugh to think about. But that was what bothered me so much as my body grew and changed shape.
Watching your hips expand and your waistline go away and maybe gain a little more junk in the trunk…It can be hard. It is so worth it though. I have learned day by day to except my body for exactly as it is. When I start to feel like I am gaining too much or I start to feel bad about myself and my changing body…I just think of how truly amazing my body really is. The female body is incredible. The whole process of growing the baby. And even how amazing the process and work of getting the baby from inside your tummy to the real world will blow your mind.
My body is doing amazing things right now. It is a process. One of true acceptance. It doesn’t happen overnight. And sometimes you have to go back and re accept yourself all over again. But each time it is truly worth it.
I also realize after birth isn’t going to be easy either. My body will truly look nothing like the body I was use to before. This is something I wasn’t even close to understanding when I had my first daughter. It was a dark and depressing time of body acceptance because I had none. Someone had once told me after you give birth you often don’t recognize the women in the mirror. I didn’t. But this time I realize it is about looking past all the small details and understanding that in time your body will be your body again. Not to mention the PERFECT babies you get out of it all! Right? Right!
Well, thanks for reading. I hope someone who might be struggling with excepting their new bodies while pregnant or after, find some comfort and peace in knowing they aren’t alone. And that they are beautiful. Their bodies are perfect. And that your body just did so many amazing things. Growing a little life is not for the weak. That is for sure.
Thanks for reading,