Life As Lex

Live Positive. Live Happy. Live Through Love

For Those With An Unrealistic Expectation Of Love And Why You Should Never Settle For Just Anyone.

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We all know the movies with the purrrrrfect endings. The happily ever afters and the fanciest of “I do’s”. 

We grew up as little girls watching these. We saw them ride away into the distance kissing and holding hands and laughing. What we didn’t see was after the honeymoon.

We grew up watch and reading fairy tales about princes and princesses falling for one another. We saw princes sweep the princess off her own two feet and we loved it. 

We watched in awe of the man. We watched and we fell in love with their love too. 

Once we hit our teenage years we saw the Nicholas Sparks type movies(which by the way are STILL my all one favs). Which also showed us love stories that were and are other worldly. We see the man chasing the women and sweeping her off her feet and going above and beyond for her. We again, fall in love with their love and some false hope was somewhere along the way placed into our heads.

If you’re one of the ones who grew up with a real expectation of love or heck, no expectations at all. Be thankful. 

I blame no one but myself for my false realities of love. I put this stuff in my own head.

I have always had this stupid idea that love is all this romance and romantic dates and over the top jesters done for one another. I believed if those things weren’t there and if that man didn’t absolutely sweep you up and carry you off into the sunset(cue birds chirping) than you were out of luck. And you should leave. Because clearly he isn’t the one for you. 

I’m not sure what the deal was inside my head. I guess my expectations of a relationship and how it should work was just all wrong. Obviously. Two divorces later I clearly had no idea what I was doing.

I’m thankful for my last divorce. And I’m thankful for exactly how it went down. I’m thankful for the lessons, though hard, that I had to learn after and during that second process of divorce.

I have to brag for a moment. I’ve found love. And a lot of you who know me will laugh. Because we all know I’ve always been “in love with love” or the idea of love. But, I’ve never been “in love” or “fallen in love” so to say.

Love isn’t running off into the sunset. Love isn’t extravagant dates and romantic gestures done daily. It isn’t those things at all. 

Love is someone coming home to you every evening and looking forward to the moment they walk into the door. Love is missing that person when they aren’t near you. It’s compromising for one another. It’s putting them and their feelings first. It’s about seeing the ugliest sides and the darkest sides of one another and loving them anyways. It’s about lifting them up when they are weak and when you are weak they lift you up as well. 

Love is an action. It’s doing. It’s showing. Love isn’t just a word. Love can be defined as so many different things. But riding off into the sunset is such a shallow version of love. 

Sure, those romantic gestures are so much fun. They are only a very small portion of what love is. 

Love is thrown and tossed around today in a way that is sickening. It’s no longer taken seriously. It’s taken rather lightly. And that’s heart breaking. a lot of my generation dips out when the hard times arise. There seems to be no team work anymore. 

It’s teamwork. It’s about working together and working through things. It’s about looking at that person and wanting to do anything in the world to keep them happy. It’s about your heart shattering to a million pieces when you know you have hurt their feelings. When your arguing all you want to do is get to the bottom of it and give them kisses. Not being able to stay mad. 

When your favorite place on the whole plant earth is right there in their arms. When you feel safe and comfortable no matter what around them. When you can tell them anything and everything and talk to them about everything. 

When they welcome your every imperfection and hold your hand through the tough times. That’s love. 

When your down falls show and your imperfections shine through, and they give you a smile and tell you it’s all going to be okay. 

Don’t let your false expectations ruin your love life. Don’t settle. Please don’t settle. It may feel like life is too short to be alone. That’s not true. You have time. Take that time. Find someone you truly love and would do anything for. The one that respects you and you respect. Settling is one of the worst and most dangerous things I believe. It’s heartbreaking and ends in lots of tragic feelings. 

Whew. There you have it folks.

Thanks for reading,

Lex 

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10 Comments

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  2. I love this! Thanks for the sweet reminder of being with someone for more than just the butterflies and Disney-movie moments (though they are great too!). I’m so happy you’ve found someone who you can love in all the many different ways love is.

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  4. Love this!! I remember when I was in HS I always thought oh we are in love because he brings me flowers or something all about happiness, but now that I have been married for almost 5 months I am so thankful I found true love. I found the person who I can get so angry with at times but even with my angry I still want to be around him!

  5. I’m still working on finding my life love and while sometimes it sucks to think I’m there and be left utterly heartbroken, it teaches me something time and time again about what I’m looking for and need out of a relationship and man for life.

  6. I love this so much and it is so true! Love isn’t riding off into the sunset together and fairy tales, but rather it’s about having a willingness to do anything for that person and is about compromises and enjoying being in each other’s presence (most days-haha) I grew up the same way having all these fairy tale ideas in my head and Nicholas spark novels to go off of, but life simply isn’t that way. Great post!!

  7. Love this!!! Finding love is not always easy but like you said it takes work. No matter what some couples may want you to think, no one’s relationship is perfect. It does take time and patience but if you really love that person it is so worth it. Congrats on finding love!

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