Body body body.
Something the world has taught us to pick at and hate.
We stand in front of a mirror day in and day out and nitpick at what we don’t like about our bodies.
We say things to ourselves like, if you only had a smaller waist, if you had a little smaller shoulders, maybe a little more tan skin, if only my eyes weren’t so close together, a bigger/smaller nose, a different eye color, longer hair, shorter hair, a different hair color…THEN maybe I’ll love you. Maybe I’ll like my body if I could just make a few tweaks.
That was me. If only this and if only that. I just knew I’d love my body and myself if I just lost a little weight, grew my hair out, and put on a little more make up. THEN I would be happy with myself.
No amount of cosmetics or weight loss will make you love yourself for who you are.
Sure, you may feel more confident. You will not love yourself more though. I can promise that.
I lost that weight. I grew that hair out. And I put on a little more make up.
All that made me want to do was lose more weight grow my hair even longer and fix my make up better.
My life was complete chaos. It was a nightmare. It was a disaster. In every way it was spinning around. The person I was with at that time made me hate myself. The way he twisted the view I had of myself was insanely scary. Obviously it wasn’t his fault completely. He did aid in the self hate. But, it was my fault for letting it affect me. I should have been stronger, but I wasn’t.
It took time to build up the love of myself and my body. It took years. It took years to build back up what so many people who crossed my path tore down. I rebuilt my walls for years. Little by little I could see the old me coming back. I could see the confidence again. I could walk out in public in shorter shorts and tank tops and feel GOOD. I felt lovely.
When I figured out what fashion was my world opened up some more. I started dressing a bit nicer and this also helped to build my confidence back up. But the most important thing I did was become healthy and less obsessed with my looks.
I let go of being skinny. Let’s face it. I’m a curvy girl. I’m small yes. But! I’m curvy! It’s the way my body was built and made. When I started to accept my body for the way it was made, it made things easier.
Another huge thing I worked so hard on. Comparing myself to others. One of the biggest things that us women do. We compare ourselves and our lives to other women’s lives. It is so dangerous and so very unhealthy. I was so obsessed with comparing. I would compare my legs with random women who would walk by me and see how many women had bigger legs than I did. I would compare my arms as well and belly. This did me no good. This just made me feel even worse about myself. When I stopped looking at other women for who had bigger legs than me…I became a much healthier women. Inside and out.
Accepting the one body you get is a huge accomplishment in this day and age. It’s a challenge to feel like you’re good enough. In all honesty you have to let go of what others think of you and work on what YOU think of you. Because that’s all that matters. You have to live everyday with your own opinions of yourself. Might as well make them good opinions right?!
I figured out that in order to truly see the beauty in this world and to truly love others around you, you must first love yourself. I never found that to be true, until I figured out how to truly respect and love myself. It didn’t happen over night. And it has been everything but easy. It has been worth it that is for sure!
Learn to love yourself and grow to know who you truly are. And have fun along the way.
Thanks for reading,