Life As Lex

Live Positive. Live Happy. Live Through Love

Misguided, Misunderstood…Love

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I’ve been hesitant to write on this subject. Mostly because of my lousy track record. 

As some of you know, I have been married more than once. 

I’m sure I have a few people shaking there head at me. I’m sure a few are saying we knew it wouldn’t work. I’m sure people think many things. As people often think so many things anyways.

Anyways, love. Sigh.

I think as humans we love the idea of love. The idea of what the world today has twisted it into.

I myself have been in love with the ideas of love for as long as I can remember. I dreamed of growing older and falling madly in love, marrying one time, having beautiful babies, and living completely happily ever after! I mean, that’s how it goes right? 

Love is perfect right? Wrong.

The idea of this so called “love” is so twisted in today’s culture.

I feel my generation has totally missed it. I feel my generation has completely missed the true meaning of love. 

These days it’s hooking up. There is sex on the second date. There is sex on the first date at times. I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that position. I’m admitting that. I’m being raw. We focus on physical things. We take “dating” lightly. So lightly. We take “relationships” as jokes. And commitment? Oh gosh. Don’t ask 80% of my generation about commitment. 

I’m not here to dis my generation. After all I am apart of it. 

I’m just here to share in my findings of what love is and how the world twists it these days.

I use to be in love with the idea too. I use to think love was this magical thing. That it was absolutely perfect. That when you found that “right one” you would just know. He would sweep you off your feet and you’d have no issues in life because, after all, you ARE meant for one another! Swoon. 

This was all wrong. I was going about finding love all wrong. I did it all wrong. I know this. I messed up a lot when it came to relationships. I get in human and make mistakes. But, I wanted love so bad…I forced t in places where there was none. I rushed it and pushed it and forced it. I molded it into what I wanted it to be. I tried to shape it into my idea of love. This didn’t turn out well for me well. Obviously.

On my journey to love I’ve stumbled many times. So many times. I’ve been blinded by this idea that the world has presented to me. 

I’ve learned that love isn’t this fairy tale ending. It isn’t fireworks in the night sky as you kiss him. It isn’t any of that non sense.

Love is this commitment. Love is this relationship where you choose daily to work hard. You work hard to love that person. You work hard to make that person happy. You put that person above yourself and most importantly you put aside your expectations of this perfect love. 

I’m not saying it isn’t completely breathtakingly amazing. Because trust me, it is.

When you work hard and work together to make that relationship work even when things aren’t the best times. It’s worth it. 

When you decide to be a team. When you decide to work together in every single aspect of life. That’s what love is.

When you miss him even if you just saw him 20 minutes ago. When you miss him on the long days at work. When all you want to do is come home and get a hug from him.

When you realize that life isn’t a movie. That life isn’t glamorous all the time.

When you realize just how important getting to know the details of their life is. When you understand date nights are crucial. And when putting down your phones, laptops, and turning off the tv and just taking becomes more important than anything.

When you lift each other up when the other one gets weak. When you realize life is a group effort. And no one should have to do it alone.

It’s about the little things. I’ve seen something online that says enjoy the little things because one day they will be the big things. That is so very true.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t change a single thing. Because everything I’ve been through has taught me a valuable lesson. All those times I did it all wrong. They taught me. They taught me so very much. They have led me to where I am today. Every choice and every decision has brought me to this very moment. And I wouldn’t trade that. I wouldn’t want to anywhere else at this very moment.

A few things I can say are, take time to date, physical things can wait(they really can), talk talk talk talk to your significant other, take time to care for their needs, take time for them, take time for yourself of course too, throw aside the ideas of love you thought you had, throw away the “rules” of the dating world for they are just a waste of time, take things slow…life is worth taking slow. 

These are just a few of the things I myself have learned. 

Take life as it comes. 

I feel I will need a part two to this post. I have so much I need to say.

But, don’t take my advice. 😉 

Thanks for reading,

Lex 

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3 Comments

  1. This is a great post, I find myself doing a lot of the same things. I’m sorry you’ve had so much happen in your love life. I do want you to know that I don’t judge you for any of it, I don’t think anyone really tells you how hard a relationship is or even how hard a marriage is. It’s hard to put people before you or at least it is for me I admit I’m a pretty selfish person at points (honestly I think we all are) but from what I can see you’re a great mom and do everything you can for Allie regardless of your hardships and that’s something you should be so proud of. I hope you’re all doing well 🙂

    1. Thank you so much!!! Thanks for no judgement. I appreciate it! My life has been crazy and I’ve stuck myself into a lot of stupid situations but I’ve learned from each and every one! Marriage is extremely hard! Relationships are so hard! Thanks for commenting and I hope you’re enjoying your hubby!!!!

  2. I love your post. I don’t judge you.I myself had to learn the hard way bout love .I was working on my divorce last year. I no longer felt that I loved my husband or wanted to even be with him . Threw our many mistakes while we were temporarily separated came back together. We are working very hard at loving each other again. Its taking lots of time and healing forgiveness to feel like we are becoming one again but it’s not easy . I’m learning that knowing and trying to meet the expectations of your spouse is very important . Also working together to achieve those expections is very important .We are in a group called re-engaged at 12 stones. It’s really helping us with drawing a circle around yourself and working on the person inside that circle . As we are doing this it’s making us move closer together. For the first time in 5 years were a team. Our generation is bad about giving up when things get hard or when our expectations are not met without saying. Its the battles that we come out on the other side that make us stronger win or lose. When we fall sometimes we get hurt on the way down.So we put a bandaid and some neosporin on and wait for it to heal. Loving and learning to love someone the right way takes a lot of time,forgiveness,understanding.
    Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited .

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