Life As Lex

Live Positive. Live Happy. Live Through Love

Sleepy Eyes

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Oh goodness
Hello all!

 

It’s been a little while since my last post. 
A lot has been going on. Some I can get into and others, well, I can’t. 
First off, me and my daughter have been out of commission for a while. Nasty cold or something of the sorts. We missed days at school and work and were extremely lazy and got lots of good rest.
I’ve pretty much been on DayQuil and NyQuil for the past couple weeks. It’s nice to FINALLY feel somewhat human again!
Along with getting sick…I found out my memaw(my moms mother) was in the hospital. This was Sunday morning. 
On the way to work this morning I got the dreaded text message… My grandmother passed. 
She was getting up there in age. She was 89. But, she was all around healthy. I guess we just can’t fight age. We shouldn’t try either. Death happens. And as painful as it is here on earth. I hold on to my belief that she is in a much better place. Dancing with my granddaddy as I’m typing this.
My heart aches the most for my precious mother. 
I put myself in her shoes and I can not even begin to imagine life on earth without a mother. I can’t. And I refuse to try. 
The agony I feel just having sympathy for my mom is almost unbearable. 
Life is a beautiful things. I often get so caught up in life that I forget that death happens. I mean, I know it happens. But, I forget at times it can happen to those dear to me…it can happen to me. 
That thought alone helps me to cling to life. To love on those near to me. To appreciate the small moments that really are the big moments. It makes me thankful I’m still alive, young and breathing. Because one day, that’s going to be me. It’s going to be others I love. It’s all apart of life. It just is. As painful as it is. We all know we are on borrowed time.
That’s why, I want to make this life count. I want to enjoy it. I want to love life to the fullest. I want to share joy in the world and show my daughter that even though death is there…life is seriously beautiful.
And it is worth living while we are here on earth.
It’s an exhausting thing…thinking of death. That’s why we must make every single solitary moment on earth count. 
You never know when you’ll be on the flip side. 
When I use to hear that life was kind of like a roller coaster ride(cliche I know), I never really understood it. I thought I understood it in high school. I was so wrong. As I’ve gotten older, life has gotten a tiny bit easier to deal with in certain ways. In others, not so much. 
Emotions run even higher(for me anyways) now, than they did back then. 
And I know I’m not that old…I’m only 23. I have lived a lot in my short 23 years. I feel as if I’m 40 on some days. 
Anyways, enough with my ramblings. 
I’m blessed and thankful for this life. The ups, the downs, the highs and the lows. I’m so grateful to take a few more breaths.
Wherever you are in life…be thankful you still have a heartbeat.
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

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