She steps in front of a mirror.
It’s unlike any mirror she has ever seen in her life. It is one of those full length mirrors you might lay up against the wall. It’s lines in thick wood with some kind of beautiful designs carved into it. The wood is painted white as snow. She walks up to it running her fingers along the designs thinking how perfect of a mirror it is. The person who made this mirror must have been extremely talented. She noticed out of the corner of her eye something that looked familiar. In fact she knew this figure so well.
She straightened up and looked this figure straight in the eyes. Those eyes. She knew them so well. She looked this figure up and down.
Those legs. Those short legs that had a little too much meat on them. She quickly looked away in almost a disgust. She glanced back and her eyes caught this figures stomach. It wasn’t as flat as some girls. It jiggles a bit when this figure moved. She grimaced again. She looked up to this figured face. That chin. That chin that was just a little too big for the figures liking. If it were only q bit smaller. Maybe not as round and maybe just a little bit different shape. She moved on to the arms. The arms of this figure were resting at her sides. The tops of her arms were always a little too big. Her shoulders just a tad too broad. She almost looked a little manly because of this. Her wrists weren’t as dainty as some of the other girls. And her fingers looked short and stumpy. She moved back down to the figures legs. Short, way too short. Not to mention pale. The figures skin was much too pale. It needed more of a tan tint to it don’t you think? Oh, and the cellulite on the backs of her thighs. Isn’t there some kind of way to make that go away? And is it true men don’t get cellulite as often? She saw where the figures legs rubbed together when she walked. She shook her head. I bet there is some way to work just that out to get rid of that fat there. After all, that thigh gap is kind of cute. The figure turned to the side. She looked her up and down and and noticed how the figures belly poked out a little bit. A pooch. Then she moved down to the figures backside. It sagged a little too much. Maybe more squats or lunges would do the trick. She looked down to see the calves. The thick calves. How can boots fit properly over those things? Then, the figures feet. Fred flintstone feet. A little bit wider than most. Short and stumpy toes to match the fingers.
She stepped back and looked the figure up and down again. That frizzy hair really should have something done about it.
She looked up and locked eyes with this familiar figure. One she felt she had known her whole entire life.
As she glanced up she reached towards the figure and the figure reached back. There finger tips met at the cold glass that stood between them.
Then, she glanced to the side again to touch the beautiful carvings on the mirror.
Self judging is real. Judging oneself is a huge downfall to a lot of people on planet earth.
Speaking about yourself negatively can strongly affect your life as well as the relationships around you. After all, how can you be happy with others if you can’t be happy with yourself?
Yes, that girl staring at herself in the mirror was myself. I have judged myself for all of the above and more. If anyone knows self hate, I do. I use to hate myself and my appearance. I use to hate my personality. I use to view myself as weak, a scared person.
Growing to love oneself is so hard. Why can’t it be easy? The world would be so very nice if we could all love ourselves naturally. It would be so nice if there was no pain. If there were no suffering. There is though. There always will be. It’s about working really really hard to make your own world a beautiful place to live. In a world full of evil and sorrow, there is so much beauty as well.
I’ve learned a few things with my body image. My body is constantly changing. My weight fluctuates literally all the time. Month to month my body is changing. I gain and lose. The thing about loving yourself is loving yourself through every stage of your life. Love your body and your mind. Love yourself as you learn and grow.
Another thing I have learned in my body changing is that it changes through the different seasons of my life. Changes happen. They happen on the inside and the outside of our body.
No matter what season you are in in your life…loving and caring for yourself and your body is very important. It is a process to view your body in a new light. It is(or was for me) a day to day process. It was a lot of self talk and a lot of determination. But! It can be done.
Just take in the process and know that you are beautiful. You are beautiful no matter what.
Thanks for reading,